i'm listening to elevator music version of lite jazz as the people from my bank hold my entire fate in their hands--i am trying to get a consolidation loan at a lower interest rate so that i could afford to pay my debts over 7 years without filing bankruptcy. i really don't want to file bankruptcy. i spent the money, foolishy i will admit. and then i had to live off my credit cards. and now i am stuck.
so much i am regretting. i'm looking around at everything in this apt. and i regret it all: my laptop and other computer equipment, my stereo, my furniture that wasn't given to me by my mom, my car, katie, hell even the apt. itself. what was i thinking?
and they said no even though i said i would close all my credit card accounts after they were paid off and get no more credit cards and just pay them off.
happy birthday to me! 35 years of regret. even my degrees i regret; i'm not making any more than i could have if i had just kept working at the hotel when i was 19. but i have the student loan debt to boot.
i'm so tired i can't keep up with the 4 jobs i have now (one of which hasn't even started).
and now to go to work and face the 20 somethings who have it all...
2 comments:
Happy B-day!
Oh I am so there with you... the bills and my b-day just over a week off. I knew we were twins seperated at birth.
Wish you could have had a better b-day... I love you
Joney
"this too shall pass" has been my daily reminder for awhile now... try not to let this spoil your day.
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