BPD & BiP I realize are the answers to my mom's prayers. Now she's got medical Dr's backing her up when she says my reactions are uncalled for. She can pin it all on my diagnosis--the weight, the bad attitude, the lack of success.
except it's not something she can talk about in public. cancer would be better, diabetes, anything.
i fought so hard to feel like i had a right to my feelings, to accept them as valid, to not stuff them inside in defiance to my family.
well we can see where all that effort got me.
7 months into the year and i have emptied my medical spending account. bankruptcy and i still can't pay my bills.
3 comments:
you always have a right to your feelings--they are yours--whether they are rational or not, they are still yours to have--you are the only one who has the right to filter through them and decide what is/is not uncalled for
while some may be the bi-product of the disease, they still are based on the realities of life--the disease(s) may color thoughts/feelings/actions some of the time--but--you still have 'real' (for lack of a better term) thoughts and feelings
only you have the right and at times obligation to make the decision that your feelings are caused by the disease.
hard? hell yeah. impossible? sometimes. Necessary? yeah
lyns
marie
when i was a kid, i was always told that i was being "dramatic". both my feelings and physical illnesses were suspect. if i threw up, i was told i was sticking my finger down my throat (at the time i didnt even know what that meant). my nose was smashed in, i was hung out the window by my feet, given black eyes, beaten with wire hangers...but if i had an emotional response, i was dramatic.
i say this to tell you that i've had a long and hard trip to beginning to believe in my feelings, both phsical and mental. and yes you may have illness/es that can your effect your response to these feelings, but it doesnt make them completely invalid.
Do not tolerate when people invalidate you! You have worked so very hard to validate your feeling.
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