reminders

i stopped by a blog i use to read that i hadn't read in awhile. the post was of a spiritual nature. it blogger made the analogy of what many people term "rebirth" with remastering an old sound recording.

it really seemed to fit to me. and it kind of made me decide that i have to try to infuse some hope into this place even if i feel like i ma lying thru my teeth. I ahve to have some faith in god that there is some truth out there. i don't believe that god will heal me. i hope that god will direct me towards the best doctor who will help me find the best possible treatment. i hope he will help me tap into a source of strength that will help me survive. i hope that one day my faith will, even blindly, carry me.

but i guess what it also made me think of is that each week in episcopal services we have prayers of the people and there is a part where we ask god to strengthen those who suffer from adversity of mind or spirit and then there is a moment of silence for you to kind of think of the people you'd like god to especially concentrate on. and every week i think of some of my fellow bloggers.

but it seems to me that i get here and lose that. and maybe that is the problem. maybe this blog has become so one dimensional. maybe my "free" time has become so one dimensional. maybe if i start by creating a space here that is a more adequate reflection of the complexity of character then the dosease could not have such a hold on me.

its worth a shot right?