i was watching some podcasts at work trying to keep my mind occupied while i performed my mind numbing duties. Trying to find some inspiration, I happened upon one of Oprah's series from her XM radio show.
In the particular episodes I watched she interviewed a woman who had a massive stroke but remained awake the entire time. Oddly enough she was a neuroscientist of some type. The woman describes how when she finally came thru the stroke she was so free of her baggage because it didn't exist for her anymore. so she decided that as people in her life tried to give it back to her, she just wouldn't claim it since she couldn't remember it.
oddly enough i inquired while in the hospital about voluntary ECT. My theory was that if I could induce the type of memory loss that a friend had experienced under ECT that maybe I could get on with my life. They chastised me about joking about something so serious. I told them with all sincerity I was not joking.
It would seem to me with all the advances we have made that they could go in and fry a part of my brain, a lobotomy if you will, with a bit more accuracy. They should be able to induce a stroke in a particular region of the brain. You will argue that I will lose something; I will argue that I have already loss damn near everything.
Pervasive personality disorders are not that easy to undo. Pervasive emotional abuse and turmoil not so easy to fix with a pill.
and don't tell me i shouldn't be looking for a quick fix. pull out my medical record and look thru my years of treatment and tell me i have arrived at this moment quickly.
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