cathartic release 25 years later

My grandfather was my favorite man in the world. No one told me he was dying. Actually no one told me he was dead either -- i just showed up at the Church Monday morning and there was a casket being pulled out of a hearse.

That was the defining moment I think--when it all began to go downhill. I don't remember ever crying.  I remember going thru the motions of grief. But I don't think I ever grieved.

I have an older couple who live down the street; they remind me of who my grandparents would have been if they had remained happily married. The husband died yesterday and when his wife told me tonight, I burst out crying.

I knew I was grieving for Mr. A and m pop-pop and it was like a rock that had been lodged in my heart was finally removed.