ok i wasn't hallucinating

there is a mouse in the apt. Katie girl, went after it yesaterday. unwittingly i moved the bag it was behind and it his behind the piano. ofcourse the laundy bags were in front of the piano so now i am scared to do the laundry because i'm scared the mouse might be in there.

the sight of mice (even in pictures) makes my skin crawl. i have been looking at pictures trying to desensitive myself so that i can confront this issue. my worst fear is that katoe will catch it and bring it to me in bed. last nite, not wanting to chance it running around the living room while we were asleep on the futon, i let katie sleep in my bed.

ofcourse everytime katie moved, i woke up. finally i was too tired to keep up the vigil so i just went to sleep.

so i ahve to order some live traps. truthfully i only feel bad about killing the mouse in an intellectual kind of way. it's like not killing the mouse is my way of letting myself off the hook of having to deal with it (alive on a trap or dead). but it has to go so i ahve been looking at traps. there is one that looks like a little animal house and looks like it would be easy for me to let the mouse go.

i wish i could figure out how they are getting into the apt. i'd bet somewhere in the kitchen. in my last apt. there were gapping holes where the gas lines came in. but i asked them to seal any opf that up when they were redoing this apt. but maybe i will have to take off a day and have them come pull it all out so i can see.

i don't know. i also think my anxiety is fixated on this because i start teaching today. i feel like i have bitten off more than i can chew, especially adding katie to my life.