i odn't know how some of oyu manage to always be such a freakin nice person. i want to be mean and nasty. i want to tell friends (who used to be lovers) with no job and a bunch of drama who call you at 2:25AM to chat to go to fucking HELL.
i want to tell my job to go to fucking hell.
i want everyone to leave me alone. i don't want to be hopeful or cheery or anything else. i want to marinate in my misery right now. i want to curse out every person who tailgates me or cuts me off.
i want little old meddling ladies who tell me i can't keep working 3 jobs in a day to leave me alone. what part of that do you think i don't get as i drive home half asleep, cry, shake, throwup and generally get nothig accomplished.
i want to tell the world to fuck off and hide in a nice padded room. i want to hide from myself in the haze of some strong dr. approved drugs.
anger seems to be the only emotion that reminds me i am alive. it's just that it makes me wish i wasn't.
3 comments:
on the bright side, any emotion is better than no emotion---i know sometimes it doesn't feel that way--but we both know how 'dead inside' feels--miss you
lyns...
never mind my previous comment--i know not what i say--i'm with you--and dead inside sounds good right now!!
i honestly don't have words.
i simply wish you well.
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