as much as i tried to control what sides of me he saw, he did the same to me. he is so open with the other people he tries to get invovlved with. take for instance his new unrequited love interest. he has a myspace page because she has one. on his page are pictures from his life (his mom and pictures of his artwork and pictures of sides of him i have never been privy too). shoutouts to friends (not me).
16 years i have stood on the outside looking in. and he asks me why he and i never managed to get together. i never had an answer before. i'd always say timing--we were never in the same physical or emotional space at the same time. but i realize more and more, that for whatever reason he never opens that side of himself to me. i always get the side that is the bitter, biting wit (mind you i like that about him), i always get the troubled side of him.
mind you i guess time does heal all wounds. i feel the scar left but it doesn't hurt that gut wrenching hurt it used to. i've become kind of resigned to my fate with him. finally the fates have beat me down and i ahve given in and given up. had i known then that this is ho w it would turn out, i would have just taken a dive in round 2 or 3.
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