tis the season

to hide in your bed!

my step mom called. her mom had a stroke which my dad failed to mention when i called. so now my stepmom has 3 disabled adults in the house that she has to care for in addition to hold down a job which is there only source of income.

she spends over $300 month just for my dad's meds. her nephew (who lives with them) is autistic and diabetic. her mom is diabetic and now is impaired from her stroke. my dad is health challenged.

and i am on my way to get mom. i had to call and have a talk with her because i wanted her to know that the creditors would be calling her constantly and she is NOT to answer the phone unless she knows the number on the caller id. i also had to remind her that we are not discussing my finances, and that that disclosure was more than i had planned on letting her know but since she would be here it would come up and i'd rather deal with it with 125 miles between us.

and ofcourse then she thought i was trying to say i idn't want her to come. i read that stement as her not wanting to come but trying to blame it on me so that i could say that this was one more event in my life she missed. you can see how conversations between us could be difficult and easily blow out of proportion.


the house is a wreck. i got up at 4 am and strated cleaning but there is just too much to do. so i ma getting showered and going. she'll flip when she gets here but oh well. i have enough money to take her to the hotel around the corner for a nite!

my mother and my relationship with her points out my very unchristian side. one of those things that i don't see getting fixed by mere baptismal and regular sunday church attendance. points out why i don't feel very worthy of being baptized. maybe a miracle will happen and my heart as far as my mom is concerned will be healed and i can really let go of my bitterness and animosity and sadness where she is concerned. because i realize i have let it go intellectually, but emotionally it still haunts me--like most of the things that i need to let go of. seems my soul has a photographic memory...