have you ever felt like dealing with your mental illness is like juggling a hair triggered pistol? (I know people without a mental illness probably feel like their lives are like that too!)
It's just that I have been busy with the 1st week of school. I missed maybe 2 days of prozac-80 little mgs-- and i feel the crash and burn.
last night i went to a friend's mfa reception. and saw another friends new born baby. and saw the guy who has my old job (that I now regret leaving) and found out my old boss is getting another degree. all things i should not be upset about. i should either be happy or just not care but i just felt resentful and angry and sad. i need to believe it is because i missed the pills and not because i am such an angry bitter jealous person.
i realize the very desperation with which i need people to love and NEED me and think I am wonderful. it's crazy. and suddenly i miss Ross (and for the first time truly think I understand his struggle). this is at my core. it is like saying ok let's spend 45 minutes each week discussing your being black to see if we can change things.
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