Sunday, March 18

"i wish he would just fucking die," I said.

10 minutes later the phone rang.

it's the only wish my dad ever granted me.

3 comments:

Polar Bear said...

I hope you are ok.

You and Me said...

sweetie--i hope you realize it's not your fault--after so many years of 'crap' it's okay to say/think these things--don't let yourself to get caught up in guilt/regret/what if's--you were the child--he was the parent--i'm not saying you shouldn't mourn this horrible loss, just don't get caught up in the other crap

i hope your alright and am sending you lots of love...

lyns
marie

ps sorry if i over-stepped here

sansanity said...

ha i meant it to be funny! I think it is hilarious, but after telling other people and seeing the look of horror on their faces, i figured out that people with 2 parents in relatively healthy family situations will never get it.

i'm not upset he died. i'm upset that my parent has passed and i feel nothing. It's not a terrible loss; it's like a neighbor who lives in your old apartment complex that you chatted with a few times dies.

funny thing is i think this was one of my dad's "get attention" actions that backfired on him. only so many times u can defy the odds and make a miraculous recovery. ah well.

i'm off to the non "service." i hope it is not a do it yourself cremation in the backyard, but knowing this family it might be. at least there will be good stories to share i am sure.