there's nothing like running into your ex girlfriend's mom at jury duty

so i ran into my ex girlfriend's mom at jury duty.

odd to sit there listening to her talk about how T has been with the same employer and girlfriend for 10 years. seems she found both of them when we split.

don't know why i felt a twinge of jealousy, as if i wanted T & I to still be together. It was ill-fated from the first flirt for so many reasons.

and i guess there was also a twinge of embarrassment & guilt. felt like i was probably one of those ex's you talk about like "damn glad i got away from that crazy bitch." i was in a VERY bad place emotionally back then. I don't think I had any idea about depression and damn sure no idea about bipolar. But i look back and it was definitely a bipolar 2 rollercoaster.

and then there is that idea that the next time you run into an ex, you want to be better (thinner, prettier, happier, richer, more successful) than you were. but all i can say is i have a nice expansive pill collection.