fractured

it seems my online personas have pointed to a very serious divide i exhibitin my personality. I have a blog/email/identity for each aspect of my personality as if none could co-exist in one digital space with another.

just for my personal life i have 7 email accts with my ISP, a dot mac acct with 3 more aliases, 3 gmail accts with 4 or 5 blogs between them (you aren't missing anything--many of them are dormant). not to mention a blog on livejournals and soon one of wordpress i think. 2 hotmail accts, a yahoo acct, several AIM ids as well as asstd other chat ids that have long since been abandoned. everything is so compartmentalized and no 2 areas of my lie should overlap which is why i think the fact that my boss (a friend) is so aware of my mental health crash that it is a bit unnerving. ah well.

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interview went ok. have 2nd interview tuesday in which i will stand in front of a bunch of people and say "i know i am not what you are really looking for, but i can make you laff." Actually it is weird. I am supposed to teach them something. I will probably just teach a lesson I have already done from my graphics class. whatever. i'm too tired to care.

the job hits a lot of raw spots fro so many reasons but mainly because once it gain exposes the gap between who I am (production person sometimes inspired enough to rise to the level of designer) versus who I want to be (artist).

at anyrate i am not going to give that too much thought right now because the anxiety has made me cut off (read shave) my head. i'm only 1 mm of hair above where britney spears was.

i just couldn't seem to stop myself. it was a compulsion kind of driven by the thought that maybe with a few more snips it would be perfect. except that i was using a electric (bikini) shaver.