basically it boiled down to me saying i was afraid of allowing myself to slip any further. i was willing to say "if you think i should go to the hospital i will" but that was not good enough. I had to say "I think i should go to the hospital". one of those small semantical diffs that they assure you in the long run mean sooo much to your recovery. so when he offered me an out (intensive therapy atleast 2 times per week) i burst into tears at trying to figure out how to make that work. while partial hospitalization (think day care for crazies) isn't on my top 10 lists its better than full, forced hospitalization which is very quickly running up on me. and it requires less thought other than get up show up swallow pills go to therapy go home. and that is about all i can cope with right now.
a final discussion shall be held off until i see the pdoc or nurse practitioner monday and then therapist tuesday. actually i suspect only until he finds a program that can take me. seems there is a waiting list for sanity.
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