not my intention to worry you.

i don't know how to explain my mood. i won't even try to explain my thought processes. i know they are flawed. don't tell me the spider i see and feel crawling up my leg isn't real kind of thing.

anyway my last post wasn't meant as some kind of ominous threat. it was really just my expression of the "you win some and lose some" nature of mental illness. a very emotionally distancing, "look at this practically" mind set i developed a awhile back when an online acquaintance from another online community decided to try attempt suicide while chatting with me. took me completely off guard. my first reaction was to let it derail me and simply join him in the act. at any rate i realized the danger of the mentally ill befriending the mentally ill.