i had no kind of youth.
i had a childhoold from like 6 and before. but after that it all got warped and stolen. and i can't get it back. and i can't recreate it. and life without it is rather like drudgery. all the way thru my 20s and early 30s hell even my mid 30s. i was so busy pretending to be ok i missed it all. and now that i have to be an adult and tend to adult things without adult skills, there is not real time for much else.
i'm not better. i'm just a better level of worse, if that makes any sense (and if it does, you should make an appt with a psychiatrist). but now i have got to keep smiling to not let people down. that whole group of people who have no idea what this demon that i possess really is. they want to believe that the last 6 weeks was more than just a bandaid on an infected oozing wound.
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