Monday, October 8

weekends are hard

my case mgr was right. my mood, no matter what i do for myself, dips low on the weekend. it's the time i recognize as time you spend with that mythical loving family i realize i will never have. i spend it in a mild kind of grief because while i have accepted that i won't have that dream intellectually, because it was one formed before logic even became a part of my repertoire, it is not so easy to let it go fully emotionally.

i walk away from that little girl. i tell her goodbye. when i look back, i can still see her standing on the curb waving and crying, hoping i'll come back and rescue her.

miles later in the rear view mirror, i can still see her.

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