i haven't been reading or writing

it seems i just can't take anything else in. or get anything else out. pure exhaustion.

i'm trying to make decisions which are best for me. i need to say "no" to over committing myself. but i WANT to do most of those things. it's hard admitting i CAN'T do all of those things.

i really wish i had the guts to pack up and go. see something else. i believe it would be easier to practice all of the mindfulness and other stuff learned in a new environment. with these people i fall into the same old habits. like a drug addict who can't hang around old buddies for fear they will cause a relapse.