I like my new job. I feel like i ma getting some of the brain I thought I lost on the meds back. It's moving quickly again. Still some holes in my recall -- i lose words, but if that is the worst of it then I'm ok with that.
ofcourse my energy is still a bit off. by the time i get home, i can't do much that is meaningful. i can't read. trying to compose a blog post is beyond me. but it s not like the exhaustion i felt during depression or from the meds. i think i ma throwing myself into m work maybe too much. and this job feeds some of my neurosis -- i can see the potential for a devastating fall. I thrve on everyone being so grateful and appreciative. what happens when they are not? and they thrive on my upbeat nature. what happens when i am not.
i try not to spend too much time thinking or reminisincg or anything. kust try to stay in the moment. but i do feel like i lost a small part of me as i abandoned this place. am i looking on the positive or blindly ignoring the negative?
ok time for my after walking the dog, before work nap.
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