time

my sense of time is screwy.
i remember incidents and how the correlate to other incidents, but I don't remember when they happened unless there was some bg marker that also correlated with them.

I don't remember how long ago I was in psychiatric day care. I inly remember on my birthday, they wanted to commit me. I remember the effexor was my last hope. I had almost forgotten that until I found a bottle of expired effexor and some other meds. Each one brought back a flood of memories. The xanax they agve me to go back to work that i ended up having to take to get through therapy. Then quiting therapy (and the xanax) the topamax for the anger. the trazadone to sleep.

it's nice to be down to a 2 med daily regimen and a 3rd as needed. juggling them all was a job in and of itself.

life is still good. the rather unfulfilling nature of my home and personal lives is beginning to bite at my ass. i guess with no depression to "shield" my view it stares me down. So I work a bit more than should and come home and sleep.

You want odd? I have begin to avoid people who knew me during my depression. I get rather tired of hearing "you look so much better; wow you really are happy." I's not that i don't appreciate it but rather I realize how F*cked up I was and it makes me sad, embarressed and afraid.

bah!