my anxiety and stress is sky high. i have to give up the thing I love which is teaching because i seem to have an inability to do things in advance. my perfectionism and procrastination send me to the brink. I am in a matter of 10 days feeling like a boulder has me pinned to the gates of hell.
It doesn't help that there were 2 deaths this weekend and I am tired. Just tired. really tired.
Which then makes me think I do this to myself and the drugs won't really help. My mind creates this hell and yes I should go to therapy but as I have said before, digging in the muck is not a good idea. all of it is so inter-related that I would have to dig it all up and lay it out; i am not strong enough for that.
1 comment:
I deeply empathize with discovering you have an inability to do the very things that have helped define you as a person. Giving up teaching must be a great loss and I feel for you.
All the things I am good at, I am finding I no longer have the ability to do, and it is devastating.
I am glad you wrote today.
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