So i logged in and I noticed there was the referring url from a site which listed 101 blogs to help you deal with depression. I am on the list.
One of many exceptionally revealing blogs that illustrate the emotional ups and downs of life with depression that needs reading.hehe really? me?
It points to one of those other issues I have... a desire for validation. Don't get me wrong -- I am not trying to dismiss the compliment. I just made me think and I realized that something in me seeks that at work and clings to it when it "pops up" other places. That's not a bad ting when your self-talk is so negative. The problem is when you so desperately seek it that you cause harm. That's where I am at work. I've taken on way too much because I need the validation.
it also points to another point of the disease, one hate to admit even to myself. I will lie to create validation even about insignificant things. Since being partially hospitalized several years ago I have tried to not tell stories because it was a lie I told that sent me spiraling downhill and into partial hospitalization.
I snagged this from http://www.anythingtostopthepain.com/bpd-lying-again/
You should go read the rest of the short article to understand.I believe there are several basic motivations to lie when you have BPD. There are also two types of lies: by admission (by telling) and by omission (by not telling). Both types are a problem with someone with BPD. The motivations for telling a lie (or omitting truth) by someone with BPD are as follows:1. When it is more painful to admit or tell the truth.
2. When she wants the other person to think “better” of her than she thinks of herself.
3. To avoid the judgment of the other person or judgment of herself.
4. When she can’t see the “truth” because of emotional reasoning brought on by the refractory period of the emotion felt. In other words, when feelings = facts.
4 comments:
love you girl--just keep treading you will make progress.
lyns
marie
I have a tracker too, but only because I fear my family or therapist will somehow find my blog, so I only investigate the ones from Illinois and Michigan.
I get a weekly stats report in my email and the number of readers keeps going down, especially since I don't blog as often as I once did or leave comments on other people's blogs, but that doesn't bother me. I've always just written my blog to clear the junk out of my own head, doesn't matter if anyone else reads it or what they think of it.
As far as validation goes, I think that's a normal human trait. We all seek validation. It's just a matter of where we seek it, how much we seek it and if our self worth is wrapped up in other people's validation of us that it can become a problem.
just wanted to say hello.
completely abandoned by blog several times and only today even bothered to update it with anything of real worth.
not sure how much it will become a tool that i utilize again, but we'll see what time brings.
was locked out for a long time due to my password being incorrect and the e-mail being sent to an address i could no longer access. bottom line, that's now resolved.
hope you're well.
hope all is well with you--haven't heard anything from ya--just remember i love ya no shit!!!
lyns
marie
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