Shouldn't good news make you happy? The FSA people granted my appeal and are going to reimburse 3/5ths of my money. Except the depressed brain says "yes they realized how crazy you are and that you can't be expected to keep up with paperwork like normal people." I know it is not true. I know that is just the depression coloring everything grey.
Ya know it is bad enough the disease makes the bad look worse and draws your eye to bad you may not have noticed. But stealing joy is really the hurtful part. It is like an extra kick in the teeth.
I saw a picture of my god kids grown up. Snooping around facebook I stumbled upon the 2nd child's FB page which had a lot of photos available for view. There is a great group shot from 2 years ago. I'm trying to be at peace with my decision. I know it was for the best. Their mother was a toxic friend. Or perhaps she was right; perhaps I was the toxic friend with my ideas of saving her from herself. Either way it was a bad friendship. But I was there right after 3 of the 4 were born, within hours and even minutes of their births.
I don't know. Everything s a jumble right now. I'm too tired to sort it out. And I'm tired of sounding like a broken record. Perhaps next time I won't even bother to post. Perhaps I'll just dig into the archives and pull out a post from the past and repost it. And now you know why call it deja-blue.
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