sometimes i come here just to sit

sometimes I visit my blog, like it is not really mine, like it is some old relative that will tell the same old stories over and over again.

sometimes i come just to reassure myself that i don’t feel THAT BAD. limefeeli g bad but not that bad is some kind of victory. how ludicrous is it that the darkness has conditioned me to accept someoarts of it as simply ok?

i am hoping this is temporary. hoping it is just pms. hoping it is just the beginning of the changes.

but so ething really dark came to light during this episode. i am
hoping to have the courage to discuss it.

but right nowI just want the strength to crawl out of bed.