i hate people that see thru the mask

my boss had the talk with me yesterday, "your performance is down and on a personal note, you seem to be falling apart."

tired. do too much for other people, but it s the only way i will get up and do anything.

and my latest sdh (self-destructive behavior)? i cut off a chunk of hair every day. and now i am too embarressed to go to the hair dresser to get it fixed. i'd have to explain. and i would end up making up some story.

have u ever seen one of those cowboy movies where they shoot bullets at your feet to make you dance and u dance or get shot in the foot? well i'm dancing dammit. stop freaking shooting. i surrender.