i talked to cmh last nite. we ran down the batteries in 2 phones talking. i wanted to sit and write about the convo but it is so complicated and it is still resonating somewhere deep within. he spoke so many truths as he always does. some of them confirm things I knew; some of them told me something new. but they all made me cry. and where i am right now, there is no distinction between good tears and sad tears. just water drowning my soul.