it is weird to find yourself avoiding places where you used to feel safe because you don't feel safe there anymore. the anxiety they provoke. it is almost easier to go to work than to return to my blog, my therapy, my church, my apartment. the truth i used to love in these places has suddenly made them unbearable, the truths just tear at my soul over and over and over and over again. there is no peace in them, they simply mock me and haunt me and wear me down. the do not set me free, they keep me chained to my pain.

so i just become a no show.