Thursday, April 1

bah

So I went away on business. On the flight home the flight attendant discretely asked me if I needed the seat belt extender as I struggled to buckle my seat belt (The clasp would not catch). I wasn't mad; I know I am morbidly obese. It did make me realize how fat I look to other people.

I realize how much hoarding, hiding and binge eating I do.

And I found out another sister has breast cancer. And I am not really concerned about what this means for m risk of getting breast cancer. I day dreamed that I did have it and got to just refuse treatment and let go. The dream made me smile.

How fucked up is that? But I am not depressed.

2 comments:

Miss Defective said...

I don't think it's fucked up at all, but that may be because I often have similar thoughts.

Polar Bear said...

I understand how you feel. I feel like this too much of the time.