him

It's been so long since I typed about him I don't even remember what my code name for him was. Weird conversations between long time friends. Perhaps I only heard the nice things because I wanted to hear them. He freed something or unleashed something. I'm not sure which. In either case I am sure this won't end well because it never does.

he tried to make me ok in my own skin. he even just sat while i had an anxiety attack that made me want to flee. he tried to reason with my insanity.  in the end he won.

except now without his voice to counter, the crazy is making up for its loss by relentlessly tormenting me. It is something to be completely devoid of anything more than casual human touch. I have been that way for years. It keeps all of the borderline tendencies down. And now... well now... we can only pray.