so i'm not really in the mood for YOUR problems

So I have this coworker that I am friendly with. I wouldn't say we are friends but friendly. He confided in me that he is transgendered and in the beginning phases of becoming a woman. No biggie. When she told me she was waiting for some reaction while I was still waiting for the "bombshell."

Of course now I find out that she is suicidal so I spent a large amount of time counseling on FMLA and the mental health system.

The problem is this... if I accidentally refer to her by her male name or by male pronoun she gives this curt correction. It wouldn't be so bad except since she is not out to everyone, I have to constantly be aware to switch back or simply be gender neutral. It is annoying.

Today she walks into an office where I am discussing a private matter with a another female coworker who does not know he is transitioning to a she. I made the comment "it's girl talk" and she got her feelings hurt. Really?

I am sorry she is tortured and feels trapped. Really I am. I know the feeling but not about something so deep. I am trying to give her the same respect and courtesy and empathy I would want except I am in my angry phase right now.

I feel a wee bit guilty about being so "uncaring" but really I don't need anything else to feel guilty or on edge about at work. I feel like her issues might push me to the breaking point. So not going there, not for  anyone. I really can't absorb other people right now. It is just too much. I've opened up too many emotions of my own that I should have left dormant.