SO I finally broke down and took a 1/2 of a 25mg seroquel. I slept and my brain is quieter now. I do so love that. I do get why people are non-compliant about meds though. I had a hard time rousing myself this morning. I kpet slipping back off to sleep and am only now moving around. If I laid back down I could drift off to sleep with no effort. If I had to take this stuff at higher doses every day, I'd be non-functioning.
I was trying to explain it to someone who does not have an emotional regulation disorder (ya like that one?) and they could not figure out why a mental disorder patient would not want to take meds to feel better. I remember when I got out of the hospital and it took me awhile to realize I wasn't depressed anymore because of the mental illness but I was depressed because of the backlash the meds were having. THe side effects were heinous. Depression I could deal with. I know that like I know the back of my hand. The side effect symptoms were plentiful and disruptive.
I want to feel better without feeing differently worse.
I have become so paranoid about the balance that I don't like to see my Primary care or mention any symptoms. Luckily she remembers the heart to heart we had when I first saw her and she treads very gently.
OK sitting here typing is making me drowsy so off i go to move around and accomplish something.
2 comments:
I want to feel better without feeing differently worse.
That right there says it all.
Yes I agree with Sid above - that should be the goal - sad when meds have such bad side effects sometimes fo soem people. Luckily there are alternatives :)
Take care
Jenna
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