mom has been living with me on weekends. yeah, that woman who is at the source of most of my issues., the one person who sets of my rage in almost uncontrollable manners. so we are moving to a larger place.
she is getting older. she doesn't like living alone. i am her only child. so i will forsake my hard fought for sanity.
this apartment complex has been freedom. i left her house and the insanity it represented 14 years ago and i escaped here.
oh yeah and i finally think i may have damaged my friendship with cmh enough that he will walk away. yeah i am that good. funny thing about that... i am kind of happy. i just want to be left alone and he always reminds me that i self sabotage all of my efforts to be happy. every time i look at him or his name on the text/email screen all i am reminded of is that i am a fuck up and someone else knows it.
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